My mom bought me a hyacinth during her brief visit earlier this month. The vibrant purple flowers and their fragrant scent made our house seem happier for a few brief days. But then the flowers on one of the shoots started to die, and then another.
A few days later, after returning home from a long day of running errands out of town, I gazed at the plant and finally accepted the fact that it was past its season of blooming. There was nothing more I could do to preserve its fragrant blossoms.
After watching a short video on how to care for a hyacinth, I got out the scissors and cut off the three shoots covered in dried-up, purple hues. It was a somber moment for me—a deep reminder of how fleeting certain joys in life can be. Nonetheless, I knew it had to be done if I wanted the plant to grow and bloom again someday. I would just have to trust in the process and patiently wait through each season, caring for the plant until it blossomed anew.
The following morning, as I sat down to drink my coffee at the table, I glanced over at the plant and was pleasantly surprised to see how well it was doing. It was only half the size it had been with its flowers, and it no longer held a fragrant scent, but it looked so alive and healthy! It seemed to be thriving, and it made me happy to know that cutting off those flowers had been the best thing for me to do. The hyacinth in its new form was still bringing a piece of happiness into our little home. Furthermore, it was preparing me for lessons yet to be learned.
A few days before deadheading the hyacinth, the thought crossed my mind that perhaps I should take a break from blogging for a while. Life has been hard for me personally since 2019, and although I experienced a brief respite from all the hardships last fall, the storms of this year have hit me with full force, uncovering debris from the last few years that I never got to fully clear away but merely managed to sweep to the side as each new trial emerged.
I feel pretty weary as of late, and I need the time and space to deal with the damage done by all these downpours. I’m seeking healing with intentionality, but it will take some time.
Cutting off the shoots of my hyacinth recently has made me realize that sometimes we have to cut back in order to seek health. Sometimes we have to let go of certain things so that God can restore and bring growth to the inner depths of our lives, which, in turn, can cause us to blossom and bring forth fruit in time.
It is bittersweet to be writing these words, because taking a break from this blog feels like another death to me. But I have to remember that it’s not. It’s just a pause so that I can focus on grasping ahold of the wholeness that God wants to give to me.
In the meantime, I’ll keep gazing at the vivid, green leaves gracing my windowsill. My hyacinth plant in a less glorious form. And I’ll keep trusting that the process is worth it—both my health and its, waiting patiently for the season in which we will see new blooms.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.”Ecclesiastes 3:11a